On the Road Again

Those of you who travel for a living will no doubt understand the appeal of abandoning the office and heading out into the world to see new places and meet new people, all while separated from both your families – and often your luggage – by many hundreds of miles.   Up, up, and away!

All by myself…

Four days ago, my wife left me alone with our son for the first time in our lives.  He’s two, and apparently still can’t take care of himself.  Also, he’s certifiably insane.  And loud.  And somehow always sticky.  There was good reason to avoid leaving me in charge for so long, but she needed a vacation, and it was time.  I pray she comes back.  The following are my personal accounts of the weekend’s events, recorded in case one or both of us doesn’t survive. Will they make it?!

The Grapes of Wrath

I don’t want to sound like a prissy snoot-bag, snootybut I fancy myself a bit of wine drinker.  It wasn’t easy to get to this point, as I typically prefer drinks with high sugar and umbrella content, but my (now) wife and I went to great lengths to develop a taste for the stuff in college.  This meant spending what little money I had on lavish dates at expensive restaurants, choking down glasses of wine of that neither of us were especially fond of – often fighting back what we still refer to as our “wine faces” – while politely assuring one another that it was “very good,” and making up the best descriptions we could think of to help hide our disgust, some of which can be seen in the following examples:   Continue reading