Fall is upon us here in the Midwest – though you wouldn’t know it with the temperatures in the high 80’s. The Farmer’s Almanac predicted a cold, rough winter, and yet it’s been so warm that the poor trees are too confused to even change color. So much pumpkin! So much spice! All for the readers!
General Life
Awwww, Nuts!
My wife and I recently welcomed our second child – a healthy and 
hefty baby boy – happy, innocent, and loving, and immediately thought, “Holy crap, we can NEVER let this happen again!” That’s when we began talking about permanent prevention, and ended – with unsettling haste – on vasectomy. The men in the audience will probably want to cross their legs before continuing…
Tart Reform
Well folks, we did it; together we made it through an entire year of random online ramblings. WordPress just notified me that it’s my one year anniversary this week! We’re 37 posts in and, while things have slowed a little, I think it’s still coming along nicely. Find out how we’re celebrating!
Be true to your school
My wife and I recently loaded up the family Truckster 
with approximately 90% of our earthly belongings, and took the kids on a little road trip from St. Louis to the great state of Iowa (Now with corn AND soybeans!) to see their great-grandmothers, and make a short stop at our alma mater, Iowa State University. Over the river and through the woods!
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Well, another epic kickball season has come to a close, and while we once again delivered the riveting beer-fueled excitement our fans have come to expect over the years – earning a berth in the consolation playoffs, and immediately advancing to the final round with a victory by forfeit Yeah, so now what?
Antman
Morning folks. Good to see you. I find myself coming to you once again from the comfort of an airport terminal, which seems to be my preferred writing locale lately. It’s a little loud, but it could be worse – I’m told Delta’s systems were hacked this morning, and those passengers are going nowhere fast; suckers! This actually has nothing to do with the story
#fitnessisstupid
So I don’t know about all of you, but I don’t care much for the process of getting fit. I like being fit, but apparently I don’t just stay fit no matter what anymore. Apparently I have to work for it now, which is total crap. When did this happen?!
It’s Time for another Good Idea/Bad Idea
So the great homelessness saga of 2016 is coming to an end this week, and it seemed like a good time to reflect on all the things that have kept me from updating the blog for the last couple of months. Continue reading
*Uncomfortably* Friendly Skies
Flying is starting to get on my nerves lately. Don’t get me wrong, airports provide some of the best people-watching opportunities outside Las Vegas – today I saw a significantly overweight woman with green hair and a nose ring bursting out of a tank top that said “Do Epic Sh*t”, but without the asterisk; Classy! Read on to see what happened THIS time
Pop goes my Tart…
Sometimes – more so as I age – I’ll find myself lying awake at night, worrying about life and the world, and what kind of future my children will have. Occasionally I’ll even bolt up in the middle of the night, paralyzed by some horrible thought; like terrorists getting nuclear weapons, or any of the current presidential hopefuls actually being elected, or the fact that we’ve nearly depleted our supply of unique and delicious pastry flavors. THESE ARE REAL PROBLEMS, PEOPLE!
Reluctantly Aging 