I don’t want to sound like a prissy snoot-bag, 
but I fancy myself a bit of wine drinker. It wasn’t easy to get to this point, as I typically prefer drinks with high sugar and umbrella content, but my (now) wife and I went to great lengths to develop a taste for the stuff in college. This meant spending what little money I had on lavish dates at expensive restaurants, choking down glasses of wine of that neither of us were especially fond of – often fighting back what we still refer to as our “wine faces” – while politely assuring one another that it was “very good,” and making up the best descriptions we could think of to help hide our disgust, some of which can be seen in the following examples: Continue reading
humor
Goodbye, Cruel World!
This may very well be my final blog post; in fact, these are typically queued a few weeks in advance, so there’s a good chance I’ll already be dead by the time you read this. Click here to cross the great divide!
Bittersweet Symphony
I’ve personally never been all that fond of New Years. Sure, I enjoy the friends, the food, and the champagne, but to me it always seems like less of an occasion to celebrate, and more of a time to lament another year lost down the tubes of history in our steady trudge towards old age and death – I am a BLAST at parties – and I’ve never understood the point of it. 
Hold on, it gets better!
Classic Tunes
I never really saw myself as a parent. I don’t think anyone else really did either, and with good reason – I’m terribly impatient, and in general, prefer things to be as easy as possible. But that all went out the window a couple years ago when my son was born This story is not about personal growth…
Wall of Weird
I once worked with a very nice man who was famous around the office for using the phrase, “Well, you’re not going to believe this, but…” Click to continue to a place beyond time and space…
Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves
I love people. Well, most people. Okay, some people – like a handful – out of 7 billion. If you feel the same way then there’s a good chance you’re in that handful. Click to understand why!
The Great Escape
I feel like we, as a nation, have started to get bored more easily. Click here for creative solutions to that problem!
Lotto Fever!
It is my sincere hope, for the good of humanity, that I will be STUPIDLY rich from winning Powerball by the time you read this…and while I suppose every column could start that way, THIS time there’s actually a CHANCE!
Big money Big Money no whammie no whammie, STOP!
A Fresh Start
I have noticed that we, as human people, have a hard time learning from the past. Who needs history? We’re living it RIGHT NOW!
!NERD ALERT!
Ladies and gentlemen – and people that read this blog – I suggest that you all go out and buy very powerful telescopes immediately, because the stars have begun to align for a once in a lifetime series of events that you do not want to miss – and also because it’s fun to see what your neighbors do at night. What could it be?
Reluctantly Aging 