Ladies and gentlemen, I am a creature of habit – which is not to say I’m a stick in the mud – I simply believe there’s a single right way to do everything, and I like it when those things are done on schedule. Deviation will not be tolerated!
Four days ago, my wife left me alone with our son for the first time in our lives. He’s two, and apparently still can’t take care of himself. Also, he’s certifiably insane. And loud. And somehow always sticky. There was good reason to avoid leaving me in charge for so long, but she needed a vacation, and it was time. I pray she comes back. The following are my personal accounts of the weekend’s events, recorded in case one or both of us doesn’t survive. Will they make it?!
This year for Valentine’s Day, I got a wild hair and decided to make a grand romantic gesture for my wife, thereby making all the other husbands in the area look like chumps. Read on to learn about the dangers of outdoing yourself