Ladies and gentlemen – and people that read this blog – I suggest that you all go out and buy very powerful telescopes immediately, because the stars have begun to align for a once in a lifetime series of events that you do not want to miss – and also because it’s fun to see what your neighbors do at night. What could it be?
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I don’t want to worry you, but Christmas is a-comin’! I can tell, because the stores have had their decorations out for roughly 6 months now, so we’re probably no more than about 30 days from the big event. Are you ready?!
Alright, that’s it; I’ve had enough. The health-food hippies have gone too far. What started as a fringe movement for mostly lunatics has now permeated every facet of our grocery-buying experience, and has to be stopped. Seriously, you’re not going to believe what they did